Help for Men in Abusive Relationships

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Spousal abuse, physical or psychological, is no laughing matter. And while women are more likely to suffer abuse than men, male domestic abuse tends to go unreported, leaving many to suffer in silence. No matter how “tough” men are supposed to be, abuse is still abuse and female-on-male violence is just as serious as male-on-female violence. And when children are involved, husbands have a duty not just to protect themselves but to protect their kids as well.

The problem for many abuse victims, but for men in particular, is in identifying what abuse is. According to the National Domestic Violence Hotline “abuse is a repetitive pattern of behaviors to maintain power and control over an intimate partner.” This definition includes all couples be they dating, married, living together, or otherwise. An abuser’s tactics can be very different but the result is usually the same: they do whatever it takes to keep their partner under control, doing what they want the other person to do.

Common abuse tactics can fall under the categories of coercion and intimidation. An abusive partner uses physical and/or sexual intimidation as well as coercion to get what they want. They may start using threats, using the children as leverage, and try to minimize the abused partners’ plight. If your partner uses any of these tactics against you, limits your ability to see friends and family, or cuts you off from family finances, then you are being abused and you need to get out of that situation; it doesn’t matter if you are a man, woman, or transgender no one deserves that kind of treatment.

Yes domestic violence exists, even in picture-perfect Provo. After you and your children are safely away from the abusive partner, the next step is to take legal action against the partner to keep them from harming you any further. This is where an experienced family law attorney can be a great help. An attorney can help you navigate the mucky legal ground of starting a divorce, getting a restraining order and demonstrating your partners’ fitness (or lack of fitness) for custody.

A divorce is usually seen as a last resort, after the couple has tried every other option. Certainly it’s a tough experience for everyone who has to go through it, husband, wife, and of course, children. Even in the event that you and your children are escaping an abusive relationship, no one ends up winning the divorce. And still, even if you and your children are clearly better off without the other party, it’s an ordeal.

No one would hope to claim that this is an easy process, but our compassionate family law attorneys are here to help keep you safe and help you start a better life.

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