Love Is in the Air
Can you hear all of those wedding bells chiming? Navigating one of your children’s weddings after a divorce can be challenging. If you and your ex-spouse have had trouble working together on co-parenting or even on being in the same ZIP code, this is a particularly difficult time for everyone.
Weddings are tricky for divorced families
Unlike birthday parties and holidays, weddings are a one-time (hopefully) shot, so getting it right is necessary. When there are second spouses and blending of families, this time can be particularly difficult. “Open communication is, as in most circumstances, key,” reports a leading divorce lawyer in Provo from Larsen Law Firm.
Since this is an already stressful time, it is important to decide to play nice from the start. Assure your child that all will be well and keep the promise. If you are concerned with how you’ll feel about getting together with your ex and their family, it’s time to put your big person pants on and suck it up for your child.
Prevent problems whenever possible
You’ve likely had some interaction with your ex at big events, graduations, etc., but the very design of a wedding is to celebrate a family beginning. Decide how you will handle the receiving line, pictures, wording on the invitations, and even the cost of the wedding with your ex. These discussions are best handled as soon as the engagement starts and often without your child involved. After you’ve come to an agreement, meet together with your ex, child, and their fiancé/fiancée so that everyone is on the same page.
As the day comes closer, keep the focus on your child and their joy. This can be a little tricky for all, especially as it is natural to have memories of your own wedding and the disappointment that it didn’t work out.
Special note about step-parents
If your family includes step-parents, step- or half-siblings, encourage your child to include them in any festivities where appropriate. One of the more challenging jobs is to be a step-parent and feel completely comfortable with their place. They may feel uncertain on how and where they fit in, not wanting to intrude on the day.
If the divorce is fairly recent, a celebration of this magnitude can be especially hard, but playing nice really will reap big rewards and your child will remember their day with gratitude as they look back.
If you need help with any aspect of family law, please contact Larsen Law Firm, a leader in family law in Utah County, and longtime leader of divorce attorneys in Provo.