Helping children after their parent gets remarried

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Getting divorced is hard. While it is hard for you as an adult, children can have a harder time accepting divorce. There are so many changes that have happened in their lives. This can include moving into a new home, having to split time between their parents, and learning to deal with the fact that one or both of their parents might get remarried. 


Remarriage may be the perfect thing for you to do, but kids will not see it the same way.


A remarriage can reopen old “wounds” for children. They can be reminded of the family they once had, and how it did not last. Your children will have to accept the reality that their mother and father are not going to get back together. Their original family will finally become a thing of the past. This can make children very sad and confused. Children can also think that their relationship with their parents have changed. They have to share their parent,  with a new step-parent and potentially step-siblings. The whole dynamic of their home life will change quickly. 


A kid could see a step-parent as a person trying to replace their real mom/dad. They could fear that showing love toward their new parent could be disrespecting their other parent. Kids may also compare their step-parent to their real parent, saying things like “my dad is more fun than you”. It will take time for your children to adjust to their new situation. Some kids will be able to handle the changes better than others. 


Be aware that remarriage often brings up the issue of custody. A newly remarried non-custodial parent may want to have custody once they have remarried. They will have a spouse, and maybe even some step-children. Try to keep the children out of the custody battle. They have already gone through a lot. This may bring up a personal issue of loyalty. Kids may feel like they have to choose sides. 


If you need any help do not hesitate to contact your Divorce Lawyer Provo, for any law related help. 

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